Dard's Daily Dashes - Day 2

"Justice Triumphs Over Loudmouths" by Mike Royko (March 22, 1984 - (C) 1996 by the Chicago Tribune)

Every so often a jury returns a verdict that is so satisfyingly just, it makes you want to cheer. Recently we've had two of them.

One received national attention: the case of the tavern gang rape that ended in a guilty verdict and the rapist's friends and families rioting outside the courthouse.

They were indignant because the jury didn't believe one of the rapists, who said the victim eagerly agreed to have sex with him on a pool table in the tavern.

It's a standard part of most rape defenses that (a) it was the woman's idea and (b) the woman has a history of being wanton.

But this is the first time I ever heard a rapist say the victim seduced him on a tavern pool table. Even if his version were true, he should still go to jail on the grounds that he is a slob. In a nation with more than a million motels, there's no excuse for such behavior on a pool table.

The other trial, which received less attention than it deserved, struck a blow against one of the greatest menaces to civilized life: the chronic, gossipy busybody.

They're found in every city neighborhood, small town, workplace, and tavern: people who can't keep their noses out of the private lives of others.

In this case, the busybodies were the elders of the fundamentalist Church of Christ in a small town in Oklahoma.

One of the members of their congregation was an attractive young nurse, in her early thirties, divorced with four children.

Some of the elders began to suspect that the nurse was having an affair with a man who lived in the town. The nurse and her male friend weren't exactly wrestling around on tavern pool tables. But somebody spotted his car in her driveway, and that got tongues wagging.

So the elders finally spoke to the man, who admitted it, although he wasn't a member of the church. Just a spineless sort, I guess.

They confronted the woman and accused her of "fornication" and of not going to church often enough. And they told her that she would have to stand before the entire congregation and admit what she had done, repent of her sin of fornication and ask them all to forgive her.

That struck the nurse as being far too stressful a way to spend a Sunday morning. So she refused. But she did promise not to see her boyfriend anymore.

Later, though, the man gave her and one of her kids a lift in his car. And who should be lurking in her driveway when she and the man got home? The church elders.

So they preached to her some more and told her that they were going to tell the entire congregation about her sinful conduct.

She begged and pleaded for them not to. Maybe movie-stars don't mind talking about their sleeping habits to People magazine, but a small-town nurse doesn't need that kind of notoriety.

Nope, the elders said. The rules of the church required that they blab about her sex life to everyone.

So she offered what appeared to be a reasonable solution. She gave them a letter resigning from the church. If she was no longer a member, they wouldn't have to concern themselves with her sex life, her soul or who was praying in her driveway. Nope, they said. She couldn't quit. They had to kick her out.

So they went ahead and blabbed, even after she said she was leaving their church. They stood up in church and told the whole congregation, which amounted to about 5 percent of the entire population of the town, what a fornicator she was.

And they ordered that she be shunned by the congregation, although she wasn't eager for their companionship anyway.

Then they went home and ate Sunday dinner and felt righteous.

But the nurse went to see a lawyer and felt mad as hell.

The result was a lawsuit against the church and three elders, charging invasion of privacy. The trial was held recently and the jury got as mad as the nurse did. It awarded her $390,000 in damages, and some of the jurors said they wanted to give her more but hadn't understood the judge's instructions.

Now it is possible that the nurse will wind up owning the church property. And if that doesn't cover the $390,000, she can probably go after some of the elders' property, such as their homes.

But the church elders are as unrepentant about their busybody activities as she was about her private life. One of them said they did it only because they loved her and were worried about her soul. Well, the next time they worry about some woman's soul, they would be wise not to do their worrying in her driveway.